FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL
Recently, we left church at 7:30am after our morning prayer. Usually, the route we use returning home from church has fast moving traffic. On that fateful day, we found the king of all traffic jams which was strange. As I sat waiting for the road to clear, my friend asked me why I was so calm and in such a good mood, yet I had a virtual meeting at 8am that required me to have my video on. I took her on the journey of how I learnt to take care of my emotions and not get worked up about things I cannot control.
I loved controlling everything around me. And I made sure everything around me was near to perfection. In the few first years of my marriage, I was miserable because things were not going my way. The kids were getting sick, I was determined to have a sparkling house even when we had kids- every parent knows this is very close to impossible. Worst of all, I tried to control my husband’s actions, like the time he came home. My world was falling apart.
It was during one of those miserable days when a lady that I look up to, noticed that I was struggling with everything under the sun. She recommended the book, ’13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do’ by Amy Morin. One of the things Morin mentions in the 4th chapter is that mentally strong people don’t focus on things they can’t control. She writes, “When you notice you have a lot of anxiety about a situation, do what you can to manage your reaction and influence the outcome. But recognize that you can’t control other people, and you can’t ever have complete control over the end result.” This became a light bulb for me.
Around the same time, one great preacher said during a sermon that if you focus on the negatives, you will lose track of the positives in a person or a situation. I loosened up and began seeing things differently. I gradually stopped trying to control everything around me and I finally regained my balance.
I have applied this lesson in all aspects; my family, my job and my relationship with God and the benefits are massive- increased happiness for me and people close to me, better relationships, less stress, new opportunities, hope, the list is endless.
As it is now, my family loves hanging out with me because I stopped trying to control them and we have each embraced our uniqueness and decided to focus on the good in everyone around us.
Whatever you focus on, whether negative or positive will consume your thoughts and control your life. Worrying about things you cannot control is a waste of time and energy. Focus on the things you can control and let go of the rest, enjoy life!!
